IF MY EYES WERE BULLETS
The older I get, the deeper I hate
Your suffering makes me masturbate
If my eyes were bullets you would all be dead
Blink, blink, goodbye, swallowing lead
Smile when I meet you, but rest assured
Your sickness of life is about to be cured
YOUR PASTOR WILL LOVE THE WAY IT FEELS
The music is mellow while the vocals are kinda heavy
It’s modern black metal for you to crank out of your Chevy
A sweet new jam for the new new country fan
And it doesn’t even sound like it was recorded in a garbage can!
So put on them boots and kick up your heels
Even your pastor will love the way it feels
It’s wholesome, not evil, completely watered down
It’s barely even black, maybe beige or sort of brown
COME ON YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!
MOSH!
Always hated that fucking word
And everyone who uses it I deem to be a turd
GOONS!
Like so many that I’ve known
Greasy fucking meatballs slobbering on their own bones
CIRCLE PIT!
Making others exercise
While you just twirl your finger from the stage and dream of pies
JUST LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS
When in the fuck did “extreme music” people
Become so easily offended by everything, by being called out for the questionable shit they do?
If this is what today’s 'underground' consists of, then leave me in the past to rehash releases from a time when everyone wasn’t so fragile and quick to be hurt
HARPHONY BORINE
Harmony Korine makes the yawniest films I’ve ever seen
Tries so hard to be odd, he’s a contrived and boring sod
The forced weirdness is so bland that flaccid stays my gland
Dude, you’ll never be Ulrich Seidl or Giuseppe Andrews
FUCK YOUR CULTURE
Douchebags trampling to the shore
Gotta prove their worth
Pumping up each other’s cocks
Fill the sea with blood
Hacking like Neanderthals
As they’ve always done
Bastards of humanity
The lowest form of scum
Fuck your culture, fuck your pride
This is grind against the grind!
THRASHING TOMORROW INTO YESTERDAY AGAIN TODAY
The thrash revival’s come and gone
Oh shit, wait, it’s back again!
Thank Lemmy I’ve still got my vest!
SORRY TO INFORM
Sorry to inform you evil fucks, but your inverted cross is actually a holy symbol in the Catholic Church known as the Cross of St. Peter
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